Easy actions for those fearful of being hurt
If you are worried about being hurt or have been hurt and want to feel safe & restored - take these easy actions:
1. Talk to another person:
- this allows others to know about it and even act on your behalf
- it allows for support
- it helps you get relativity to know if you are using good judgement and get your thoughts straight
- it gets you advice, information and even directions
2. If it's safe to be Assertive - stand up for yourself!
- If you feel angry then probably someone has hurt you
- Tell the other person that you feel like that and what you need to put things right
- Use the assertive 4 part phrase (see link)
3. If you are really unsafe you may need to Exit:
- Do not threaten the person or use the 4 part phrase above
- Act as calm as you are able
- Look for a way out or a way that you can leave with as little fuss as possible
- The situation may be able to be sorted on another day or maybe never if you are not safe
- Take yourself out of the situation
- Withdraw or go to another place or even run away
- Seek support
4. Find out about your Rights and how to claim them.
You may want to contact:
- your union representative
- your Family Court
- a committee at your club or church
- the Human Rights Commission
- your local Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB)
- the council
- the police
- your lawyer
- women's refuge
- or crisis line
Use the internet for information on rules and laws. Ask for the code of ethics and the complaints procedure of the place where the violence is happening.
If it is safe the best way to resolve something is through talking to the other person or organisation. Most people want to fix things up. Take some support with you or have a witness. Make a clear consistent stand as soon as possible.
The longer abuse is taking place the harder it becomes to stop it. You may use a third party to help you like a counsellor, mediator or objective friend. Restorative justice and conflict resolution facilitators are another level of help. Women's Refuge will supply a support person to come with you.
Sometimes people want to hold onto power and the issue may not be resolved. Complaining to a higher power may be the best way to get justice for yourself. Complaints to the media sometimes get support and the Courts can issue orders to assist protection.
Call the Police if the law has been broken or you feel in danger.